Should a believer marry a non - Christian, to join in a mixed marriage?
This question is a sore point to those who believe in God apart from one or another religion. For those who belong to some religious denomination, this question can be out of the discussion, because religion itself is far enough from that what God teaches.
So, actually, there must be identified the clear distinction between a true believer and just a goer to the church.
Just a church visitor will not see or feel any reason to avoid marriage with somebody who is following denominational traditions/ rules; he/she will not see any danger to marry whosoever they want even when God says "NO."
A true believer who is following the commands of Jesus Christ and live apart from religions' established rules, will live and make all choices according to the Word of God. We all know that every Word that comes out of the mouth of God is for our benefit. All that He has said is to warn us in order may we are able to live blessed and peaceful lives; in order may we by following His precepts are able to see danger and thus avoid heartbreaking experiences in our lives.
So, should a believer marry a non - Christian, to join in a mixed marriage?
According to the Word of God definitely not! Why? For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Righteous is the one who has Christ; the wicked is the one who has no Christ.
"I want you to swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living..." (Genesis 24:3).
"Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them." (Ephesians 5:11).
If you are a true believer in Jesus but not just an attendant of Sunday church services; if you are forgiven and justified and not the one who lives by high moral standards following religious' rules; if you are righteous, holy and blameless in His eyes and not just a panegyrist of His Word outwardly, then you will marry not an unbeliever. You will do it not because you know the Word of God, His warnings and love to you. You also will do it not because you want to live happily and avoid absolutely sure heartaches which will definitely come on you if you marry an unbeliever.
You may say - "I love that person." But know this - if you marry someone only because of the "in love" feeling then understand fully - "in love" never last for a long. All unhappy marriages and eventual divorces did start with big "in love/ passion" feelings. Sooner or later there will be a day when the "in love" feeling will be gone and "life" will start. Those who know the Word of God and are eager to follow Christ will be in great distress because unbelievers or religious persons will not be able to discern the truth about matters in regard to a godly marriage.
Marriage is a commitment. Man is a leader and priest at home. Godly man must fully submit to Christ, for God is his head. The woman is a queen at home. A godly woman must fully submit to her husband, for husband is her head. But first of all both of them must submit themselves to God. First God. A man ought to love his wife as Christ loves His church. A woman ought to respect her husband. How does the one who is not following Christ's commands to its full extent, are to fulfil these requirements? Female/ male will be in great distress living under two authorities. The authority of Christ and the authority of an unbelieving spouse.
All relationships are established from the very creation of the world. The life with unbelievers will be breaking oneself in order at least try to live according to the Word of God. It will be a constant adaptation to the situation which will be controlled by unbelievers. Unbelievers are not able even to grasp the rules which God provides may couple could live peacefully, as in paradise, if followed.
Even believers must learn new "marriage" life. Unbelievers are with veiled hearts and all they can, just do their best in accordance with their feelings, wills and wants.
If a believer is a true believer but an unbeliever is convinced that Christ is not necessary for all aspects of life then there will be no accordance and unity between the two, support for each other will be missing. Love will be gone fast and all that will be left - bitter tears and regrets and painful sores... If you love God then follow His command and only then the peace, joy, love, kindness, goodness and all the rest of enjoyments whatever there are, will be yours. In order to create a lasting, happy, fulfilling marriage believers should not marry unbelievers, for to live under two authorities is never easy.
"Therefore, "Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you." (2 Corinthians 6:17).
"Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." (1 Corinthians 15:33).
We must go into the world and proclaim good news to all. But we must not be yoked with them in order to be obedient to Christ, to be what He wants us to be. We must live as the children of God. A close relationship with the unbeliever will never allow it and utterly prevent from fruitful and blessed life.
Dear child of God, for your own sake, follow the commands of God for they are for your benefit. If Jesus wants you to marry a current unbeliever, He will touch that person's heart. If not, then that is not God's will for your life. He has something far better for you.
Submit yourself therefore to God, resist the devil and He will flee from you. Be still and wait for God to act. Pray earnestly and ask His will, His thoughts and His intentions. He alone is able to make a way where is no a way. He alone is able to provide in dried-up land. He alone is able to give you all your heart's desires. Just hear and do what He says. Do not trust your feelings and your heart, for God says that our human heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. (Jeremiah 17:9).
Do not be mingled with the unbelievers for if you do, you will be forced to adapt their customs. You will be forced to forsake Jesus' commands.
"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4).
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7).
My prayer for all who are in danger to be mingled with an unbeliever is, may God lead you, guide you and protect you from all pure choices. May He is gracious and loving. May He enlighten the eyes of your heart and may you by persistence keeping in His Word are able to resist desires which God forbids, and do not rush into anything without His counsel, instead be patient and wait for God to bring you where He wants you to be. In precious Jesus name, I pray and so it be.
"May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed."(Psalm20:4). Amen.